Battle Of the Up-Lighting

February 1, 2010, 10:49 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Around Pleasantville are some very upscale properties. These homes are on 10 acre lots, have barns and pools, and seem to all have long meandering driveways. There are two such houses that sit facing each other, atop opposite hills, with the road running down the gulch between them.

I have been looking at these houses for years. Years. And if ANYTHING every embodied the saying “just because you have money doesn’t mean you have taste”, it’s these two houses.

One is a Mediterranean monstrosity that looks for all the world like it was designed by the same guy that did Caesar’s Palace, only he did this work after dropping a bunch of acid. Everyone in the ‘hood refers to this house as “the Hotel”. The Hotel looks across the gulch at a house which everyone calls “the Hospital”.

Both of these properties have had a colorful past. The Hospital built and inhabited by a builder and his family,a nasty divorce ensued, the horse barn was vacated, and the Hospital eventually went back to the bank. It has been empty for the better part of a year, in which time all vegetation has died and fallen over. The Hotel was built as a spec house, and near it’s completion a whole bunch of stuff was done for a prospective buyer. Of course, that buyer bailed, and the house sat empty, while all the palm trees (oh yeah, palm trees in Idaho, cause they go with the house) died. Someone briefly moved in, the palm trees were replace, and then the house was vacated. It, of course, sat empty long enough for the palm trees to die again. New tenants moved in, the palm trees were replaced, a woman was struck by lightning in the driveway, and eventually the house got repoed.

Happily, the third set of palm trees seem to have taken.

Recently, both properties have gotten new owners. One of the things these new owners like to do is to turn on all their outdoor up-lighting at night.

To which I say: SERIOUSLY?

As if we ALL haven’t see your houses for the past 5 years. As if we weren’t well aware of your ostentatiousness during the day, but must be alerted to it at night as well. Last time I drove by, I was able to count 17 lights illuminating 2 sides of the Hospital. Why, WHY? I ask, do you need to light up the entire outside perimeter of your house when it’s snowing and you’re inside of it?

My theory? It’s either a battle to prove whose house is gaudier, or they’re sending secret messages to each other through their up lighting.